Ellen podcast #3
What Kind of Car Did Your Family Have?
I talk about four cars: the chaotic car, the controlled car, the perfect car, and the real car. Families within each of those types of cars have specific and unique ways of communicating and interacting with each other that not only allow the car to have that label but also produce very specific and predictable outcomes for the people in the car.
Tolly: The topic today is relational environments. It sounds like there are a lot of different types of cars that you encounter in your work.
Ellen: Yes, lots of types. There are lots of people in the cars and each person has their place in the car and each person has their role in the car. And each car has its own very distinct and unique relational style.
How the people in the car interact with each other—that relational style— is key in producing the atmosphere in the car and it’s foundational in the development of the children in the car. It affects how they think about themselves, how they see and experience other people, and how they learn to be relational people.
So, there are some major styles of that communication that I’d like to highlight, not necessarily as distinct categories, but to bring awareness to the fact that different families have different ways of communicating with each other and that it’s very impactful on everyone in the car, especially the children.
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Topics included in this podcast:
family systems, family therapy, only children, divorce, blended families, family of origin, sociology, psychotherapy, counseling, therapy, family healing, generational healing, family dynamics, control, codependency, authenticity